Nice and Simple

So today I was considering things I like and things I hate, just because when one is stuck in an airport/on a plane/in general transit for more than six hours (a thing I hate) one can't help but consider the issue. So, let's live up to the title and make it nice and simple:

Things I Hate:
1. The act of traveling. I love the idea of traveling, and I'm really big on destinations. But traveling sucks like nothing else, especially when one must do it every single freaking week, with a broken suitcase, hair that's totally crazy especially after being mashed up against a pleather Southwest seat, or having to deal with people who suck. Examples of people who suck? Oh, lots.

Take the dude today who freaked out on the plane, so badly that we had to taxi back to the gate to let him off. What was the ironic message written on the back of his leather jacked? "Root of All Evil." Oooooo. You badass.

Or what about guy who kept pushing all my stuff out of the way at the security line? If my contact lenses hadn't been trying to lemming jump their way out of my eyeballs, I would have kneed him in the groin multiple times. But it was six am. I had my limits.

2. I hate hate HATE hate hate Gwen Stefani's "Lamb" perfume. I love Gwen Stefani, don't get me wrong. She has this jolie laide thing about her that works fantastically well, like Charlotte Gainsbourg or, before all the plastic surgery, Hilary Duff. But the perfume, for which I had high hopes, made me smell like a cheap hooker that someone sprayed Windex on. It was weird. I do not exaggerate when I say I started rubbing my wrists against each other Lady Macbeth-like in a futile attempt to rid myself of the damned smell. I'm not a perfume snob, but I knows what I likes. And considering the most expensive items I own are the $500 worth of perfume I am obsessed with, I'd say I'm a fair judge of what sucks. And "Lamb" totally sucks.

3. I hate being tired. Lately, I've been incredibly tired to the point of passing out around 8pm. The fact that I'm awake right now can only be attributed to my circadian rhythms doubling over from dysfunction to the point where my body probably thinks it's actually 10am. This does not bode well for my multiple meetings tomorrow. Yipes.

Things I Love

1. Baby goats. I don't even think I need to explain that.

2. My mom. Why'd I put Mom after baby goats? I didn't want to be *that* obvious, so I thought I'd surprise you.

3. I love the concierge level at the Hilton. Because honey mustard dressing and free vodka gimlets takes the edge right off.

4. I love bad (and good) 80's music. But I seriously need to stop listening to "White Lines (Don't Do It)" by Grandmaster and Melle Mel because every time I take my headphones out of my laptop without turning off my iTunes, all my coworkers get an earful of "rang dang diggity dang da dang".

5. I love lip gloss. My lip gloss is cool. My lip gloss be poppin'. Whatchu know 'bout me?

6. I love Southern guys who open doors just because I happen to be vaguely female (or at least they give me the benefit of the doubt).

7. I LOVE David Letterman for this clip alone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKSxHYK_wfs

8. I love per diems. Really, I can find meals for under $5 a day. So thank you for rewarding my frugality, I love it.

9. I love that I'm so addled that I still think, on some level, that I could be anything when I grow up, including an astronaut, cowgirl, or marine biologist. Or writer.