I Do As I'm Told

"Brevity. Soul. Wit." suggested taking the first 20 songs that play on your mp3 player or other newfangled audio device and listing out their first line. I can already feel how embarrassing this is going to be.

1. I've become impossible, holding on to when, when everything seemed to matter more
2. Bend down and touch, the door is shut, in the end, you're just too close
3. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life
4. When you tire of all the bright lights, haste that's killing and you're willing to stay home nights, when your feet are back on solid ground, look for me, I'll be around
5. I need a ruffneck, a dude with an attitude who only need his fingers with his food
6. I'm 'bout to throw some game, they both one and the same, Cupid's the one to blame
7. When the rain breaks the road, are you holding on?
8. In the dark I like to read his mind but I'm frightened of the things I might find
9. Someone take these dreams away that point me to another day
10. Oh, oh oh oh, you don't have to go, oh oh oh oh, you don't have to go, oh oh oh oh, you don't have to go.

Okay, I could only make it to 10. My brain is addled and lacks commitment and there's other stuff I want to go over.

Thing 1: I have a pretty nasty cold and I'm in a bad mood about it. So I'm going to pamper myself ladies and gents. That means no cleaning, thinking, or working for the rest of the night.

Thing 2: Those ASPCA commercials featuring Sarah McLachlan have been driving me crazy. See below.




Maybe you are made of sturdier stuff than I, but every time I see this commercial on tv, it sends me scrambling for the remote control because I can't handle sobbing on my couch anymore. It has all the basic ingredients for inducing a good cry--puppies and kittens, puppies and kittens IN PERIL, those same animals staring innocently and desperately up into the camera, Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" playing in the background, Sarah McLachlan holding and petting an ostensibly rescued animal, and worst of all, animals with one eye. You show me an animal with one eye, and I will dissolve into tears. Why? Because I'm a huge doofus, sorry.

So, I may be going into some weird do-gooder territory in the next few months out of species-specific guilt. I know a lot of my altruistic tendencies irritate my friends and loved ones because it usually results in my hitting them up for money but, come on people. It's been five years since I did any fundraising. Go ahead and watch that commercial again and see if it doesn't make you want to do something. Yeah, I know I'm annoying. Just wait til April rolls around.